Wednesday 31 August 2011

I've been thinking- its long!!

Sorry I have been a bit quiet recently but i have been busy attempting my masters essay, training, baking, missing my folks and dogs but most importantly I have been thinking a far bit. So I thought maybe I would share some of my weird and random thoughts with you!

My first one that has been on my mind a lot recently which i guess started my other thoughts off, is why are strangers sometimes the best friends? Why are they more supportive than the people you speak to and classify as friends? To my darling friends who are reading this I am not talking about you, neither am I talking about my family!

Do you find every so often, especially if you are losing weight, trying something new, just generally altering something even if its just your curtains, that friends ask "Why? You are fine the way you are." "But that looks alright!" You know the phrases!! But stranger friends (and yes I know not all strangers are polite and nice, we have had that experience a far bit recently!!) if they ask why? its usually cause they are interested. They seem to accept your decisions and opinions more easily! They might not agree but they hear you out more. But why?

So these questions then led to me thinking about Life Choices (not minority media as I should be thinking about for my essay!) Now, I don't believe you can control your life completely, and I have no idea if I believe in fate or that life is preplanned or anything but I do know when you get to a cross road you get given a chose! Left or Right? You make that choice! I mean you can go left, find it too hard, or that it doesn't suit you and then turn round and try the righthand side of the road, which might suit you better! So this is where I am right now!

My life is on a path with multiple paths! Actually no I prefer the analogy of a flow chart or a spider diagram - everything is interlinked, every aspect has choices and no one answer is right and no decision is wrong. I mean it might not be right for me but it might be perfect for other people.

The obvious one for me is health, diet and fitness, I guess - I knew I wanted to get fit, to lose weight, to be healthy. So I lost weight, (not healthily I will admit and I promise at some stage we will discuss the "heartbreak" diet) so I had achieved one thing - but oh my!! I was so unhappy! I cried constantly, my mum was worried sick, I had no energy, I was drinking sooooooo much! Therefore something else had to change - fitness! So I started at the gym, cardio galore! Oh I could manage that but the idea of a press up?? Not a chance!! So another thing had to change! Well into my life weights, kettlebells and TWITTER!! Mark and Stu!! #gymfree !! This worked for ME! The natural progression for me was then diet, so I cleaned that up - I listened to Mark on healthy eating, vitamins and I loved it, I found a passion, so I started doing my own research and tried different forms of diet, carb cycle, Keto, fruit overload, you name it I read about it, thought about it, and most of the time tried it! At the moment I am trying high protein, low carb, no fruit, and currently 7 weeks off the booze! At this moment in time it appears to be working for me! The first time since losing weight, my skin is looking better and cleaner - who wants to be 30 and have spots!

But fitness, diet and health does a lifestyle alone not make!! So I know I need to explore the other themes in my life - I used to hate reading as a child, dyslexia can do that to a person, but then I went through a stage of loving it! I found a genre I adored and related to, now I am bored of that so need to find another one that suits me! I need to expand my reading again! Try new things! Religion!! now I know this is a difficult theme, and here I think sums up my ideas on Life Choices! There are so many religions out there, how can I chose just one without looking, learning, discussing, as many possibilities as I can. And you know what I might find religion in any form is not for me! But I have the choice, do I look, learn, explore and decide, or do I just accept life as I am handed it?

I did warn you all that I had been thinking too much and to be honest writing this now has started me off again, so I am going to leave it here for tonight and think my thoughts threw a bit more so I stop rambling!!!

But I also guess it is time to be brave and do a progress pic! Please not this pic is me working very hard and relaxed I look nothing like this. Oh and apologises for the serious face and no make up, as I say it was a very hard strength session!

Love you all! Embrace and love the choices before you as we don't always get given options or the chance to learn!


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